Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Rain, rain, go away. Please?

Last night Roger and I went on a walk after dinner. Sounds fun, right? It was....until Roger decided to utilize a five finger discount and snag himself some carpets. Behold the act as it unfolds:


 Super dodgy right, because you are all reading my blog I will draft you into my side of the argument. Thank you for your support, I'm glad it's completely voluntary (or not). Lets start at the very beginning, because according to my girl Julie Andrews, this is a very good place to start (Sound of Music anyone?) Behold the carpet in it's original habitat.
Looks super sanitary, right? False. This my friend, is where bed bugs breed. That itch you feel on your skin? SELF PRESERVATION. Roger is a teacher and in need of carpet for his new classroom, everyone remembering grade school story-time fondly? Good. Bet you $10 your teacher did not jack those homey rugs from an alleyway the way my crazy boyfriend did. Without a second thought he grabbed those carpets and began to pull them from their grimy surroundings, I start flashing back to every bedbug story I've ever heard. I will not lie to you internet, it is at this point I start to lose my cool. In my head I see hoards of bed bugs, a gosh darn invasion overtaking our apartment. Just like in the Velveteen Rabbit we will be forced to throw all of our things into some sort of sick funeral pyre. Goodbye cute shoes, goodbye white noise machine, goodbye everything. I can't standby and let this happen! There is noooooo way I am about to allow those carpets in my apartment! Roger, on the other hand, is not dissuaded. He assures me he will put them in our basement storage unit. I know better, there is no way these carpets will fit down there....He is a liar. Roger. Read this. You Lie.

He continues dragging the carpets out of the alley, I start to notice the questionable stains marring the white rug. Oh good lord, who knows how many people had sex on this carpet? Even worse someone could have died on this carpet! Oh good gravy by touching these carpets we are contaminating a murder scene!! We argue about the carpets fate for the next two blocks, all the while Roger carries the two heavy carpets. I am admittedly not much help, A. I have noddles for arms, carrying heavy items it's just not one of my skills. It's the sad truth. B. I DON'T WANT THE BED BUGS TO GET ON ME.
They jump ya' know (Please note, I don't know if this is fact or my own crazy leaking through), if I get too close to Roger and the carpets I'm done for.
 Thankfully blocks later he comes to his senses and discards the rugs. It's too hot to carry such heavy (sick nasty) carpets for the remainder of our fifteen minute walk. Say it with me all, VICTORY. All is not well though, still the threat of bed bugs lingered, after all he was all up in their grill - I hose him down with purell and walk an arm distance away so the bed bugs don't jump on me. No bed bugs for this lady, thank you very much.






















 Watching dogs play at the park. We creep like that.




 Out of focus is cool, right? Okay, I kinda messed up. But I don't hate it!










Nothing too fancy for outfit of the day, this is pretty much just a way for me to show off my hot dance moves. The weather is not fantastic today making it hard to get dressed/cute. One day I will get a tripod and do a real proper What I Wore. Until then...we dance.

78 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh I just laughed so hard at this. Especially "Just like in the Velveteen Rabbit we will be forced to through all of our things into some sort of sick funeral pyre." Oh man, I'm glad he changed his mind, because that is pretty gross.

    ReplyDelete
  2. lol truth I hate bed bugs!!

    xx
    Rosa

    My Stylish Little Secret
    http://mystylishlittlesecret.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. that is too funny! I am paranoid about bed bugs, too!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You made it through the rug incident and got to dance in a very cute outfit. Sounds like someone's a winner!

    GTBB,
    http://badjoan.com
    http://badjoan.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  5. oh my. this is so funny. I hope you enjoy the carpet! :)

    Love your blog!

    XO

    ReplyDelete
  6. 100% on your side. I live in mortal fear of bed bugs. Nothing from the sidewalk comes inside!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I really you dodged a bullet here....

    xoxo ~ Courtney
    http://sartorialsidelines.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really laugh hard reading this story!! My hubby would have said and done the same things you know?
    xx
    http://dontcallmefashionblogger.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  9. lol...I have noodles for arms too! Bed bugs are aweful!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hahaha too funny!!!! I haaate bed bugs!

    I follow you now!! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey !
    Man, you're so funny !
    I agree with you, I don't like bed bugs, they creep me out !hehehe
    Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  12. hahaha great post girly!
    www.jaymieocallaghan.com
    x

    ReplyDelete
  13. So funny to read. So glad he came to his senses.
    P.s nice dance moves.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Haha, this is so funny! ^-^
    I guess I would have freaked out a little bit as well.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Haha all of that hard work and he left them there? I would have been scared and freaking out lol :)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Such a funny post :)
    Www.clashing time.blogspot.co.uk <3

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm totally with you on this one - grossness. Thanks for stopping by my blog :) My daughter is in DC for the summer, interning - she LOVES it there and hopes to go back after she finishes up her last year of law school in Seattle next June.

    jeanette from everton terrace

    ReplyDelete
  18. Haaaa.... Thank goodness for the heat. I think Roger would get along famously with my first husband. Funny post. :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Haha great post! I would have been thinking the exact same things! Bed bugs and murder on the rugs. I'm glad he decided not to keep them!

    Becca
    http://blondeslogic.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks for the sweet coment on my blog, and from another D.C.-ite welcome to D.C.! This made me laugh so hard and as someone who had bed bugs and lost everything, I'm SO glad your bf decided to leave them behind. Haha, definitely will be back!

    Cara
    http://i-dabble.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. i hate bed bugs too! i'm a bit OC when it comes to my place. lol..you made me laugh with this post.
    ANYWAY, YOU CAN STILL JOIN MY "CHUNKY HEELS GIVEAWAY!" ANNOUNCEMENT OF WINNER TOMORROW!I'LL SHIP ANYWHERE AND IT'S SO EASY TO JOIN! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
    http://voguelyvan.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  22. thanks for your comment! haha this made me laugh so hard!

    ReplyDelete
  23. YOU"VE GOT A NACK FOR STORY TELLING!!!....reading this was delightful!!!! made me laugh a lot!!!! :)
    Chari T (deep fried stilettos)xx

    ReplyDelete
  24. What a story! I have noodle arms too.

    ReplyDelete
  25. funny post :D
    anyway check mine sweety :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Funny :D I don't like bed bugs or insects at all! :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Oh god bedbugs... I've heard of a couple who had to heat-treat their home to kill off the suckers. Picking up a carpet from the street is very unsanitary - beat Roger with one of rolls until he abdicates and agrees!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Oh gosh.. bed bugs! scary! yet your post is quite funny! and glad it had a good end:)
    xox
    http://crashingred.com

    ReplyDelete
  29. oh. my. gosh. at first i was like "hmmm, wonder where they got those carpets"... and then i saw the picture. woah! :O ;)

    <3, Mimi
    http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  30. LOL such a hilarious post! So glad he ditched them in the end. Love that you photodocumented the whole experience :P

    Adoring your blog header! Its so creative :)
    Thanks for stopping by my blog <3
    Tasia
    http://rufflesandsequins.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  31. Bed bugs FREAK ME OUT. Like really seriously freak me out. as do fleas. Do you know they can leave dormant for years. YEARS.

    ahem.

    ReplyDelete
  32. You are so funny- so many little adventures captured in one post! Thanks for visiting my blog- it means a lot to me.

    xx flor
    florecity.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  33. hahaha! this is so funny. love your blog <3

    ReplyDelete
  34. hey ~ good for you!! i'm so glad that you won that war! haha!! men.
    xo ~ kristina

    ReplyDelete
  35. Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog! I appreciate it!
    Keep blogging! I'm following you :D

    ReplyDelete
  36. Enjoyed reading this!!! So funny! Kisees

    ReplyDelete
  37. Washington looks great!
    http://xtheperfectmess.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  38. i follow you back!
    kiss
    zizi
    www.zizibloom.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  39. Your blog is super funny!

    Thanks for your comment, thanks to which I discovered your blog...I'll keep following your adventures!

    http://notjustaprettydress.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  40. LOL, I laughed pretty hard at this! I can't believe he really wanted those rugs.. I would have done the same as you! BTW you look great dancing ;)

    Now following!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hahaha! This is such a cute and funny story! I am so on your side though! I am sure he meant well. Us girls just have to make them realise a few things first sometimes!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the Vegan/Vegetarian tip, I will keep my eye out for those brands! :)

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  42. Thank you for visiting my blog, Katie, and leaving a comment. You will enjoy Deborah's book.
    On your post, here - well handled - and dare I say that this is a male line of thought (mostly) - 'do now and think of the consqeunces later'. Wonderful and so very amusing, especially the victorious 'sluecing down' ending.

    ReplyDelete
  43. LOL, you are so funny! Love reading your posts :)

    xxx,

    Fashion Fractions

    ReplyDelete
  44. Haha, this post made me laugh! I can see what you are saying. He's going to clean it right? ;) I love all your photos!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Thank you for your comment on my blog!

    Now i'm following you
    http://freakyfriday-sabrina.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  46. wow, love it :)
    Love, Juls xx


    (check me out at http://bonchicbongenrej.blogspot.com)

    ReplyDelete
  47. hahaha I love your blog! So raw and witty! Oh Roger and the carpet haha. It's so hard finding blog that can make me laugh out loud (literally) but your post did. Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Oh, too funny... bad Roger!! Guys don't worry about bed bugs, germs, lice or anything like that. Men are a different breed entirely! xo

    ReplyDelete
  49. Your outfit is so adorable! I love those sandals. xo

    http://www.pearlslaceandruffles.com

    ReplyDelete
  50. Hello!! I have just discovered your blog and I fnd it brilliant!! I like your style and the presentation of your blog. I am enough a novice in this domain and I like to know of what think people of my photos … If you could glance? Please on my blog I have in link my Facebook page and my Twitter page. While waiting for I am member of your blog and I am going to continue to follow you daily. Continuous to make us dream!!

    http://theladyjersey.blogspot.com

    Bisous Bisous

    ReplyDelete
  51. haha your blog is hilarious, this story really made me laugh! x

    ReplyDelete
  52. this post really made me laugh - you're such a talented and funny writer!

    xx // themerrimari.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  53. ohhh it's been a while since I've come across an well written amusing blog post!

    Look forward to your future updates :-)

    Keep following me too ! xx

    ReplyDelete
  54. This did make me giggle, I am totally on your side! I'd have refused to walk with him ;).
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  55. I'm laughing, this feels like such a ny story--is that where you are. So glad he came to his senses, I'd have been acting the same way as you :)

    ReplyDelete
  56. Lol, this post had me laughing. OMG! I could definitely picture something like this happening to me and the boyfie.

    ReplyDelete
  57. haha I love the way you narrated this, I totally forgot the story about the Velveteen Rabbit, but seriously, I can see why you were terrified of having to throw away all your stuff! Glad he came to his senses :)

    ReplyDelete
  58. Thank God he decided to leave them behind! I am scared to death of bedbugs too!
    -Meagan
    http://spunkychateau.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  59. he! thanks for your comment
    kisses
    AJS

    ReplyDelete
  60. No carpet is beter than bedbugs and fleas and who knows what else! thank goodness he didn't end up taking those rolls of grossness!

    ReplyDelete
  61. That is too funny!

    I'm glad he finally gave up the dream... that carpet looked pretty sketchy to me ha ha!

    ReplyDelete
  62. Hahahah funny!
    Oh and I really love your outfit!

    ReplyDelete
  63. I'm glad he decided to dump it! I would have felt bad for those kids!

    Thanks for much for visiting my blog! Love your header!

    ReplyDelete
  64. Haha, love your stories. Glad he gave 'em up; he saw sense in the end! x

    ReplyDelete
  65. I hate this weather! Let the rain PLEASE go away!
    Thank you for your lovely comment, dear!

    Loves,
    Rowan

    www.redreidinghood.com

    ReplyDelete
  66. hahaha interesting story! thanks for sharing this adventure, bed bugs are scary for me too!!

    xx
    http://www.trend-ish.com

    ReplyDelete
  67. haha awesome photos and story!
    your blog is great

    kisses

    ReplyDelete
  68. What a great story. Also, yeah, everytime my friend and I would pass a great chair in the streets of Brooklyn and he'd say "What a good chair!" I'd just think of the millions of bedbugs eating my butt. :'c

    anastasia
    ugly plants

    ReplyDelete
  69. thank you for the comment!
    great blog!

    ReplyDelete
  70. oh man! I am all itchy now! ick
    So happy he gave up taking those nasty carpets home.

    If he needs carpet, have he contact a carpet installer who may have removed carpet from a business that recycles carpet sometimes they keep large pieces to donate to schools and other places.

    xx
    callie
    ps thank you for the sweet comment about sassy!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Hi :)
    I love your blog :)
    Please check out mine.
    Kiss from Portugal

    ReplyDelete
  72. I absolutely loved that story!! I can't imagine coming with 10 feet of those rugs, let alone have them right up against my head!

    Thank goodness he got tired of carrying them. haha
    Thanks for swinging over into my side of blog world. :)


    www.keepthefaithgoing.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  73. hahah omg that made me laugh so loud that my daughter gave me a very weird look xx

    ReplyDelete
  74. hahaha I love hard rubbish! I get free furniture from roadsides all the time!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for commenting, I can't wait to see what you have to share! I hope you will considering following my blog, I'd love to see you again ;)