Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Rain, rain, go away. Please?

Last night Roger and I went on a walk after dinner. Sounds fun, right? It was....until Roger decided to utilize a five finger discount and snag himself some carpets. Behold the act as it unfolds:


 Super dodgy right, because you are all reading my blog I will draft you into my side of the argument. Thank you for your support, I'm glad it's completely voluntary (or not). Lets start at the very beginning, because according to my girl Julie Andrews, this is a very good place to start (Sound of Music anyone?) Behold the carpet in it's original habitat.
Looks super sanitary, right? False. This my friend, is where bed bugs breed. That itch you feel on your skin? SELF PRESERVATION. Roger is a teacher and in need of carpet for his new classroom, everyone remembering grade school story-time fondly? Good. Bet you $10 your teacher did not jack those homey rugs from an alleyway the way my crazy boyfriend did. Without a second thought he grabbed those carpets and began to pull them from their grimy surroundings, I start flashing back to every bedbug story I've ever heard. I will not lie to you internet, it is at this point I start to lose my cool. In my head I see hoards of bed bugs, a gosh darn invasion overtaking our apartment. Just like in the Velveteen Rabbit we will be forced to throw all of our things into some sort of sick funeral pyre. Goodbye cute shoes, goodbye white noise machine, goodbye everything. I can't standby and let this happen! There is noooooo way I am about to allow those carpets in my apartment! Roger, on the other hand, is not dissuaded. He assures me he will put them in our basement storage unit. I know better, there is no way these carpets will fit down there....He is a liar. Roger. Read this. You Lie.

He continues dragging the carpets out of the alley, I start to notice the questionable stains marring the white rug. Oh good lord, who knows how many people had sex on this carpet? Even worse someone could have died on this carpet! Oh good gravy by touching these carpets we are contaminating a murder scene!! We argue about the carpets fate for the next two blocks, all the while Roger carries the two heavy carpets. I am admittedly not much help, A. I have noddles for arms, carrying heavy items it's just not one of my skills. It's the sad truth. B. I DON'T WANT THE BED BUGS TO GET ON ME.
They jump ya' know (Please note, I don't know if this is fact or my own crazy leaking through), if I get too close to Roger and the carpets I'm done for.
 Thankfully blocks later he comes to his senses and discards the rugs. It's too hot to carry such heavy (sick nasty) carpets for the remainder of our fifteen minute walk. Say it with me all, VICTORY. All is not well though, still the threat of bed bugs lingered, after all he was all up in their grill - I hose him down with purell and walk an arm distance away so the bed bugs don't jump on me. No bed bugs for this lady, thank you very much.






















 Watching dogs play at the park. We creep like that.




 Out of focus is cool, right? Okay, I kinda messed up. But I don't hate it!










Nothing too fancy for outfit of the day, this is pretty much just a way for me to show off my hot dance moves. The weather is not fantastic today making it hard to get dressed/cute. One day I will get a tripod and do a real proper What I Wore. Until then...we dance.

78 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh I just laughed so hard at this. Especially "Just like in the Velveteen Rabbit we will be forced to through all of our things into some sort of sick funeral pyre." Oh man, I'm glad he changed his mind, because that is pretty gross.

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  2. lol truth I hate bed bugs!!

    xx
    Rosa

    My Stylish Little Secret
    http://mystylishlittlesecret.blogspot.com

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  3. that is too funny! I am paranoid about bed bugs, too!

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  4. You made it through the rug incident and got to dance in a very cute outfit. Sounds like someone's a winner!

    GTBB,
    http://badjoan.com
    http://badjoan.blogspot.com

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  5. oh my. this is so funny. I hope you enjoy the carpet! :)

    Love your blog!

    XO

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  6. 100% on your side. I live in mortal fear of bed bugs. Nothing from the sidewalk comes inside!

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  7. I really you dodged a bullet here....

    xoxo ~ Courtney
    http://sartorialsidelines.com

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  8. I really laugh hard reading this story!! My hubby would have said and done the same things you know?
    xx
    http://dontcallmefashionblogger.blogspot.com/

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  9. lol...I have noodles for arms too! Bed bugs are aweful!

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  10. Hahaha too funny!!!! I haaate bed bugs!

    I follow you now!! xxx

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  11. Hey !
    Man, you're so funny !
    I agree with you, I don't like bed bugs, they creep me out !hehehe
    Xoxo

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  12. hahaha great post girly!
    www.jaymieocallaghan.com
    x

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  13. So funny to read. So glad he came to his senses.
    P.s nice dance moves.

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  14. Haha, this is so funny! ^-^
    I guess I would have freaked out a little bit as well.

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  15. Haha all of that hard work and he left them there? I would have been scared and freaking out lol :)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

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  16. Such a funny post :)
    Www.clashing time.blogspot.co.uk <3

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  17. I'm totally with you on this one - grossness. Thanks for stopping by my blog :) My daughter is in DC for the summer, interning - she LOVES it there and hopes to go back after she finishes up her last year of law school in Seattle next June.

    jeanette from everton terrace

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  18. Haaaa.... Thank goodness for the heat. I think Roger would get along famously with my first husband. Funny post. :)

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  19. Haha great post! I would have been thinking the exact same things! Bed bugs and murder on the rugs. I'm glad he decided not to keep them!

    Becca
    http://blondeslogic.blogspot.com

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  20. Thanks for the sweet coment on my blog, and from another D.C.-ite welcome to D.C.! This made me laugh so hard and as someone who had bed bugs and lost everything, I'm SO glad your bf decided to leave them behind. Haha, definitely will be back!

    Cara
    http://i-dabble.blogspot.com

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  21. i hate bed bugs too! i'm a bit OC when it comes to my place. lol..you made me laugh with this post.
    ANYWAY, YOU CAN STILL JOIN MY "CHUNKY HEELS GIVEAWAY!" ANNOUNCEMENT OF WINNER TOMORROW!I'LL SHIP ANYWHERE AND IT'S SO EASY TO JOIN! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
    http://voguelyvan.blogspot.com

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  22. thanks for your comment! haha this made me laugh so hard!

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  23. YOU"VE GOT A NACK FOR STORY TELLING!!!....reading this was delightful!!!! made me laugh a lot!!!! :)
    Chari T (deep fried stilettos)xx

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  24. What a story! I have noodle arms too.

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  25. funny post :D
    anyway check mine sweety :)

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  26. Funny :D I don't like bed bugs or insects at all! :)

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  27. Oh god bedbugs... I've heard of a couple who had to heat-treat their home to kill off the suckers. Picking up a carpet from the street is very unsanitary - beat Roger with one of rolls until he abdicates and agrees!

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  28. Oh gosh.. bed bugs! scary! yet your post is quite funny! and glad it had a good end:)
    xox
    http://crashingred.com

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  29. oh. my. gosh. at first i was like "hmmm, wonder where they got those carpets"... and then i saw the picture. woah! :O ;)

    <3, Mimi
    http://whatmimiwrites.blogspot.com/

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  30. LOL such a hilarious post! So glad he ditched them in the end. Love that you photodocumented the whole experience :P

    Adoring your blog header! Its so creative :)
    Thanks for stopping by my blog <3
    Tasia
    http://rufflesandsequins.blogspot.com

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  31. Bed bugs FREAK ME OUT. Like really seriously freak me out. as do fleas. Do you know they can leave dormant for years. YEARS.

    ahem.

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  32. You are so funny- so many little adventures captured in one post! Thanks for visiting my blog- it means a lot to me.

    xx flor
    florecity.blogspot.com

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  33. Great story! Lovely blog :)

    xo,
    Em

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  34. hahaha! this is so funny. love your blog <3

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  35. hey ~ good for you!! i'm so glad that you won that war! haha!! men.
    xo ~ kristina

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  36. Thanks for your lovely comment on my blog! I appreciate it!
    Keep blogging! I'm following you :D

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  37. Enjoyed reading this!!! So funny! Kisees

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  38. Washington looks great!
    http://xtheperfectmess.blogspot.com

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  39. i follow you back!
    kiss
    zizi
    www.zizibloom.blogspot.com

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  40. Your blog is super funny!

    Thanks for your comment, thanks to which I discovered your blog...I'll keep following your adventures!

    http://notjustaprettydress.blogspot.com/

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  41. LOL, I laughed pretty hard at this! I can't believe he really wanted those rugs.. I would have done the same as you! BTW you look great dancing ;)

    Now following!

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  42. Hahaha! This is such a cute and funny story! I am so on your side though! I am sure he meant well. Us girls just have to make them realise a few things first sometimes!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and for the Vegan/Vegetarian tip, I will keep my eye out for those brands! :)

    xx

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  43. Thank you for visiting my blog, Katie, and leaving a comment. You will enjoy Deborah's book.
    On your post, here - well handled - and dare I say that this is a male line of thought (mostly) - 'do now and think of the consqeunces later'. Wonderful and so very amusing, especially the victorious 'sluecing down' ending.

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  44. Haha, this post made me laugh! I can see what you are saying. He's going to clean it right? ;) I love all your photos!

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  45. Thank you for your comment on my blog!

    Now i'm following you
    http://freakyfriday-sabrina.blogspot.com

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  46. wow, love it :)
    Love, Juls xx


    (check me out at http://bonchicbongenrej.blogspot.com)

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  47. hahaha I love your blog! So raw and witty! Oh Roger and the carpet haha. It's so hard finding blog that can make me laugh out loud (literally) but your post did. Love it.

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  48. Oh, too funny... bad Roger!! Guys don't worry about bed bugs, germs, lice or anything like that. Men are a different breed entirely! xo

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  49. Your outfit is so adorable! I love those sandals. xo

    http://www.pearlslaceandruffles.com

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  50. Hello!! I have just discovered your blog and I fnd it brilliant!! I like your style and the presentation of your blog. I am enough a novice in this domain and I like to know of what think people of my photos … If you could glance? Please on my blog I have in link my Facebook page and my Twitter page. While waiting for I am member of your blog and I am going to continue to follow you daily. Continuous to make us dream!!

    http://theladyjersey.blogspot.com

    Bisous Bisous

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  51. haha your blog is hilarious, this story really made me laugh! x

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  52. this post really made me laugh - you're such a talented and funny writer!

    xx // themerrimari.blogspot.com

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  53. ohhh it's been a while since I've come across an well written amusing blog post!

    Look forward to your future updates :-)

    Keep following me too ! xx

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  54. This did make me giggle, I am totally on your side! I'd have refused to walk with him ;).
    xoxo

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  55. I'm laughing, this feels like such a ny story--is that where you are. So glad he came to his senses, I'd have been acting the same way as you :)

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  56. Lol, this post had me laughing. OMG! I could definitely picture something like this happening to me and the boyfie.

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  57. haha I love the way you narrated this, I totally forgot the story about the Velveteen Rabbit, but seriously, I can see why you were terrified of having to throw away all your stuff! Glad he came to his senses :)

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  58. Thank God he decided to leave them behind! I am scared to death of bedbugs too!
    -Meagan
    http://spunkychateau.blogspot.com

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  59. No carpet is beter than bedbugs and fleas and who knows what else! thank goodness he didn't end up taking those rolls of grossness!

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  60. That is too funny!

    I'm glad he finally gave up the dream... that carpet looked pretty sketchy to me ha ha!

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  61. Hahahah funny!
    Oh and I really love your outfit!

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  62. I'm glad he decided to dump it! I would have felt bad for those kids!

    Thanks for much for visiting my blog! Love your header!

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  63. Haha, love your stories. Glad he gave 'em up; he saw sense in the end! x

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  64. I hate this weather! Let the rain PLEASE go away!
    Thank you for your lovely comment, dear!

    Loves,
    Rowan

    www.redreidinghood.com

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  65. hahaha interesting story! thanks for sharing this adventure, bed bugs are scary for me too!!

    xx
    http://www.trend-ish.com

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  66. haha awesome photos and story!
    your blog is great

    kisses

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  67. What a great story. Also, yeah, everytime my friend and I would pass a great chair in the streets of Brooklyn and he'd say "What a good chair!" I'd just think of the millions of bedbugs eating my butt. :'c

    anastasia
    ugly plants

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  68. thank you for the comment!
    great blog!

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  69. oh man! I am all itchy now! ick
    So happy he gave up taking those nasty carpets home.

    If he needs carpet, have he contact a carpet installer who may have removed carpet from a business that recycles carpet sometimes they keep large pieces to donate to schools and other places.

    xx
    callie
    ps thank you for the sweet comment about sassy!

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  70. Hi :)
    I love your blog :)
    Please check out mine.
    Kiss from Portugal

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  71. I absolutely loved that story!! I can't imagine coming with 10 feet of those rugs, let alone have them right up against my head!

    Thank goodness he got tired of carrying them. haha
    Thanks for swinging over into my side of blog world. :)


    www.keepthefaithgoing.blogspot.com

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  72. hahah omg that made me laugh so loud that my daughter gave me a very weird look xx

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  73. hahaha I love hard rubbish! I get free furniture from roadsides all the time!

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Thanks so much for commenting, I can't wait to see what you have to share! I hope you will considering following my blog, I'd love to see you again ;)