Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Dear Remicade (this is not a love letter)

I am female, 21 years-old, and lets face it, a little bit out of your league (sorry, I'm not sorry). You, Remicade, are a dodgy specimen, and I ain't interested in what you are peddling.

Ulcerative colitis is like having a second job, I spent all day surrounded by doctors orders trying to pin medical offices down to dates and treatments, and it is effin exhausting. I don't think anyone will ever read this other than yours truly, so let me take a minute to give future self a shut out, what up, hope your life is looking up. Please tell me we eat vegetables in the future, that would make me a happy lady.

I really don't want to start Remicade, reasons as follow. A. I'm scared shitless (please note that I am not actually scared shitless, threat of Remicade alone is not a miracle cure B. I'm scared shitless. (I just used shitless three times in one sentence, certainly this deserves some sort of journalistic award). I am putting something into my body that the effects of which are relatively unknown. This is particularly frighting as some think it is possible Remicade leads to an increased risk of cancer. Color me thrilled. The 'big C' aside Remicade also compromises your immune system, so I, a (formerly) healthy 21 year old now require the same vaccinations as your grandmother. More medication, more injections, more fun; you might spend your Saturday morning recovering from tequila benders, I'm doing it up at the Doctor's office (hollllaaaaaa).

Whatever, I'm stopping my whining.......now </done>

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